Networking Is Not About Your Pitch.
It’s About Your Stories.
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What if the most important story you ever tell isn’t the one you deliver from the stage, but the one playing quietly in your own head? At our NSA-IL February meeting, two very different Jeffs revealed complementary truths: Jeff Derocher shared how genuine curiosity and listening can transform networking from awkward to powerful, while Jeff Rogers showed how rewriting our internal narratives can unlock confidence, consistency, and momentum.
Networking Is Storytelling in Disguise
Jeff Derocher has spent 15 years immersed in the Chicago events community, serving in leadership roles for ILEA and MPI. His secret isn’t charisma, it’s curiosity.
“People really like talking about themselves,” he explained. “They might not think they do, but it’s easy for them” to talk about themselves. “I’m a super curious person, and I love to learn about people’s journeys.”
The key move? Flip the script. Instead of leading with your value proposition, ask people how they got to where they are. Let them share an inflection point, a childhood story, a career pivot. When you find the intersection between your journey and theirs, trust builds quickly.
He also emphasized that networking doesn’t end when you leave the room. Following up with introductions and connecting one new contact to another cements your reputation as someone who genuinely adds value. “Follow up and make the connection that you promised,” he noted. “The follow-up is super powerful.”
Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself
Jeff Rogers is a two-time TEDx presenter, former Second City company member, and inaugural NSA Last Story Standing National Champion. His message was clear: the stories you tell yourself shape whether you build “a castle to your values, or a pathway to your personal prison.”
Many of us carry beliefs installed decades ago that are like protective rules from parents or early failures that kept us safe, but now keep us stuck. We often use legacy operating systems, but we can still work around them. There is a new narrative: “If it fires together, it wires together,” Jeff explained. “That pipeline gets bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger as long as you are consistent.”
His antidote: act first. When you align an action with your values, even before your beliefs catch up, you start rewriting the internal code. “It’s not win or lose, it’s win or learn,” he said. Every leap, successful or not, generates data for the next one.
Rehearsal Sets You Free
A surprise theme emerged when both Jeffs (and others in the room) discussed the tension between improvisation and preparation. Jeff Derocher shared a humbling story: in a speaking course, he improvised a story he thought went great until the audience admitted they couldn’t follow it. After rehearsing, the same material landed perfectly, even though it felt “boring” to him.
Jeff Rogers echoed the insight: “The real freedom is when you’ve rehearsed it so much that you know it so well that you can improvise around it. You’re basically bulletproof.”
For speakers, the lesson is vital. Memorization creates stiffness; practice creates freedom. Know your material cold, and you’ll have the flexibility to adapt in the moment, whether a room is cold, a tech glitch strikes, or a spontaneous opportunity arises.
PRACTICAL “TRY THIS” CHECKLIST
- At your next networking event, ask one new person: “How did you get to where you are today?” Then listen without interrupting.
- After meeting someone new, send an introductory email connecting them with someone in your network who can help.
- Notice your inner critic this week. When it says “I can’t,” jot down the thought but rewrite it as a question: “What if I could?”
SOUNDBITES FROM THE SESSION
- Listen first, pitch never. The most effective networkers start by asking about the other person’s story and not rehearsing their own elevator pitch.
- Laughter is the shortcut. As Jeff Derocher put it, humor is “the fastest way between two strangers.” Authenticity and lightness disarm people faster than polish.
- Get involved, don’t just attend. Joining committees and solving real problems within organizations builds deeper relationships (and better visibility) than ever showing up to meetings alone will.
- Your internal story creates your external reality. Jeff Rogers reminded us that 90% of the brain can’t tell the difference between a vivid story and reality, so the narrative you’re running shapes what you believe is possible.
- Values first, then beliefs. Identify what you want to be good at, then build beliefs and actions around those values. Don’t operate from outdated “parental warnings” that kept you safe as a child but hold you back as an adult.
- Leap before you look. Action produces information; overthinking produces paralysis. Even a poor attempt yields usable data.
- Consistency beats intensity. One big win doesn’t carry you forward. As Jeff Rogers explained, “Every thought, every decision is a brick,” and that builds the castle toward your values one brick at a time.
- Keep a personal resume. Write down your accomplishments (big and small), so when doubt hits, you can remind yourself who you really are and what you’ve already achieved.
WHO IS NSA-IL?
This is exactly what NSA-IL is here for: bringing together perspectives that sharpen how we connect, communicate, and grow as professionals. Whether you’re fine-tuning your networking strategy or rewiring the stories that hold you back, our chapter offers the community, programming, and practice opportunities to make it happen, from monthly meetings to Last Story Standing to Sizzle Reel events.
Are you ready to sharpen your story on stage and in your own head? Join us at the next NSA-IL meeting and experience firsthand the insights, community, and momentum that come from being surrounded by speakers who are building something bigger.
Visit us at https://nsa-il.org/ today!
Interested in being our guest at our monthly event? Contact Christy.Moore@nsa-il.org.
